Taking Your First Perfect Dump

Mastering The Dump – Timing, Dosage & Delivery Matrix

Greetings fellow dumpers. My name is Edward and I’ve been taking great dumps for many years. I’m writing today to help get you amateur dumpers up to speed. There’s no reason we can’t all be taking fantastic dumps every day, especially when you see how easy it is. I have extensive experience using this product and I’ll give you some tips to really enhance your experience with TPD.


TIMING – The most important factor in using this product effectively is the timing.  When you ingest a product, be it food or supplement, it takes time for that product to travel through your system. While that time varies from person to person, it generally takes around 12 to 24 hours for food to become excrement, and longer to fulfill the complete digestive process. In other words, if you were to hypothetically funnel an entire can of corn and swallow it unchewed, it would take anywhere from twelve to twenty-four hours before you started to see little yellow nuggets inside those big brown logs. For this reason, I’ve found that taking TPD sometime after dinner and before bedtime achieves the ideal result: to start your day with a extremely satisfying, fulfilling bowel movement.

DOSAGE – You want to make sure that you’re taking the right amount of product.  While this may seem like the simplest tip to follow, often times when measuring a product in powder form people measure differently. I recommend two, mildly heaping tablespoons, and by tablespoons I mean the big spoon from your silverware drawer. For me, a 190 lb man, that’s the perfect dosage. Again, everyone’s body is different so adjust accordingly, but don’t worry if you take the full two tablespoon dosage. Also, it’s very important that for your FIRST DOSE you take the product for two nights in a row. After that your system is ready to deliver perfect dumps.

DELIVERY MATRIX – The final key component to this formula is the delivery matrix, or the beverage that you mix it with.  I’ve tried all common beverages and in my opinion orange juice is by far the best (grapefruit juice is a close second). About 8 oz is all you need. I even water mine down a bit sometimes to thin it out, although that may slightly reduce the quality (ie size, ease of slip) of the dump. From a scientific standpoint I cannot explain why the OJ is the way to go. Could it be the high acid content, the natural sugars? Whatever the case, TPD works great no matter what it’s mixed so go nuts.

I wish you a happy crappy!